The first thing you feel when your alarm goes off in the morning is pain.

And it is not the usual I-cannot-believe-my-alarm-really-goes-off-at-this-time kind of pain.

It is more like a did-I-get-hit-by-a-truck-and-not-remember-it kind of pain. It feels like someone replaced your throat with razor blades and there is not one muscle in your body that does not ache. And you’re pretty sure you had a milkshake instead of going to the gym yesterday so the muscle pain is probably not from pumping iron. Then again, the pounding in your head is making it hard to think straight so maybe you did go to the gym yesterday.

Your nose is running like crazy and its times like this that you make you want to smack yourself for not keeping a jumbo size box of tissues on your nightstand. And you are absolutely freezing, yet your skin feels like it is on fire. How does that even happen? And where did that cough come from? And why does it hurt so much in your chest?

Clearly, there is something terribly wrong with you.

You scream for your mother, who comes running into your room holding a blow dryer with half her hair soaking wet. You explain to her your situation and suggest calling an ambulance because, you are not positive, but you think you may be dying.  With a bit of an edge to her voice, your mother informs you that you most likely have a bad cold. She feels your forehead and looks down your throat and tells you to go back to bed.

Today, you will taking a sick day.

When you wake up again, a few hours later, you cannot help but look at the clock and snicker because while all your friends are wasting away in Algebra you are snuggled up in bed.  Then you start coughing and think that you might rather be in Algebra than plagued with this illness that is the common cold.  Then you think there must be something really wrong with you, because in what world would you rather be in a math class than in bed.

You muster up enough strength to get out of bed so you decide to take a shower.  If you could even call it a shower.  You end up just sitting in the tub with the shower on because you are too exhausted to stand but the hot water feels so good.  You seriously consider just sitting there all day long, but you decide against it.

After putting on your most comfortable pajamas you trudge to the kitchen where you swallow an unhealthy amount of Advil and some cough medicine. Before going back to bed you make a mug of tea so hot that it burns your mouth but feels amazing going down your throat. On your way back to bed you grab some crackers, tissues, cough drops, hand sanitizer, and the last two seasons of Glee on DVD. No sense getting out of bed again if you don’t have too, right?

You curl up in bed once again with Glee on your laptop and before you know it you’ve drifted off to slee . . .

You awaken to the sound of your siblings coming home from school and you are overjoyed. Finally someone is home to make you soup, bring you ice cream and wait on you hand and foot! Too bad that no one will come into your room in fear of catching the plague.   Not even the cat will cuddle with you because she’s afraid of your cough.

When your mother gets home she is quick to start disinfecting, whipping down every area you may have gotten a germ on with bleach.

As your family sits down to eat a meal that would probably smell pretty good if you could smell, you choose to take another one of your “showers.”

Afterwards, your mother makes you eat a bowl of chicken soup, which just tastes like hot broth.  She tells you that if you are not feeling better by tomorrow she will have to take you to the doctor. You vow to yourself that you will better by the morning because you will not be going to the doctor.

On that note you decide to take a tablespoon or three of Nyquil and go to bed because when you are really sick, sick days suck.