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Tattoos

Published in Hawk Headlines, Volume VIII, Issue VIII

There seems to be a new trend sweeping not only the nation, but Woodland as well. No, it’s not leggings. And it’s definitely not cardigan sweaters. This hot craze paints more of an everlasting rebellious persona than a chic presence. It’s tattoos.
First, let’s take a trip in my time portal back to 3000 B.C.…
The world-wide population is 30 million, Troy is founded, Stonehenge begins to be built, and the ancient art of the tattoo is originated. It wasn’t the art-ists or the pharaohs who imagined it. Actually, it probably wasn’t even consciously created. The legend is that some Sumerian warrior had a wound and rubbed it with a hand that was dirty with soot and ashes. Once the wound healed, they realized the mark was permanent. They thought (in scary cave-man talk), “Mark very intimidating,” and began to use it as a war advantage.
From that moment, the tattoo appearance continued its popularity through the Polynesians, the circus, the Celts, the navy, and of course the criminals.
The inspiration is still unknown, but tattoos have been used for centuries to reflect monumental changes in a per-son’s life, such as an induction into a group like the Marines or the Crips. I have to admit, though, that teenagers today use miniscule changes as inspi-ration for a permanent tattoo.
Exhibit X:
“Mom, I’ve been thinking a lot lately, and I’ve decided I want to get a tattoo in memory of Goldie. That fish meant the world to me.”
“Oh yeah? And where do you want this tattoo?”
“I was thinking on my lower back so he will be with me all the time. Then when I go to the beach he will finally be able to swim in the ocean!”
And when this tactic fails, there’s always…
“But EVERYONE in school is getting one!”
If it’s so ordinary in modern society, ponder this: Is it even really a “stand-out” factor? As many as 45 million Americans have tattoos… and 17% regret getting one.
Maybe if people like the “Yo-Mans”1 stopped geeking2, the purpose of the everlasting ink could be endured. Or perhaps websites such as tattooselector.net could cease to exist.
Will tattoo ground rules have to be established? I can already predict the first on the list: “Thou shalt not brand thyself with thy spouse’s name.”
Compared to the Stone Age, when most of our parents flourished, the 21st century is jammed full of hard-edge individuals. Everywhere I turn, I see jet black hair, studded belts, leather jackets, and even the infamous neon Mohawk. It is becoming harder and harder to look defiant and tough. After all, celebs like Amy Wine-house, Travis Barker, and Steve-O are main-stream now.
For all one knows, this is why parents sometimes don’t understand a child’s creative need to publish art on his or her body. Or parents may hate the idea of their son or daughter getting inked because they see some strange man or woman (thanks Kat Von D) carving ink onto their little angel’s epidermis. Or – bear with me now – there is the possibility that a parent’s reason for opposing tattoos are the possible complications established by the US Food and Drug Administration such as infection (i.e. hepatitis or AIDS), removal problems, allergic reactions, granulomas, keloid formation, or MRI complications. I don’t know what any of these are, but they don’t exactly sound like fruity breakfast cereals to me. You be the judge.
After all is said and done, I still want a tattoo. I’ll probably get one. Call me a hypocrite. Call me a wannabe. Call me if you know a good artist. But if you find me in ten years to ask me if I regret getting branded and I respond, “Well…” you can remove the tattoo yourself with a rusty knife.

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1.    The person who walks into a tattoo parlor and says, “Yo man, I got $20 what can I get?”

2.    What tattoo artists refer to as acting without knowing how stupid you will be.

One thought on “Tattoos

  1. Brando January 6, 2011 at 9:00 am

    oh yeah, tattoos, yea

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