Powerschool GoGuardian Naviance Aimsweb Semstracker EdReflect SchoolDude Virtual Paragon Frontline Alio Service Portal

Naptitude

Published in Hawk Headlines, Volume VIII, Issue V
If Woodland had a Nap Ed. elective, I’d be first on the list.
Think of the possibilities. Anyone with a high naptitude (the knack for napping) could join. Our text book would be The Art of Napping by William A. Anthony, Ph.D., (yes, it is a real book), and our homework would be to take a nap each day.
I realize that some people will generalize us nappers as lazy and unproductive. These naysayers have obviously never heard of the famously accomplished nappers throughout history.
Thomas Edison maintained his massive amounts of energy by snoozing whenever he wanted, Eleanor Roosevelt prepared for her speaking engagements with a few z’s, and even Napoleon Bonaparte napped between battles to boost his stamina. But Napoleon wasn’t the only one who used naps to deal with the responsibilities that come with war.
Winston Churchill was quoted in My Dear Mister Churchill as saying, “Don’t think you will be doing less work because you sleep during the day. That’s a foolish notion held by people who have no imagination.”
These napnostics (non-believers) with no imagination are the ones who give nappers a bad name. But as Churchill went on to say, “You get two days in one. When the war started, I had to sleep during the day because that was the only way I could cope with my responsibilities.”
To tell you the truth, my alarm clock that goes off every morning might as well be a drum line signaling me into battle. Like Churchill, the only way I can get through a school day is by keeping the thought of my Tempur-Pedic, fuzzy slippers, and silk lavender scented eye shades awaiting me.
My nap mania all started in middle school. I would arrive home after a relaxing bus ride, put on the TV, and ease into peaceful slumber.
Four years later, as a junior in high school, I see napping as a healing hobby, like yoga or meditation.
But ever since I got myself a 3:00-8:00 p.m. job on weekdays, I’ve been struggling with consti-nap-tion (kind of like writer’s block). For three out of the five days I go to school, I don’t have that after-school nap to look forward to.
Consti-nap-tion is an illness. If you are like me at all, you have around 10 absentee marks, mostly because it’s becoming harder and harder to get away with a nap.
Due to the rapid decrease of mid-week naps, I find myself choosing naps over my social life.
Friends: Hey, it’s finally Friday, let’s go see a movie!
Me: I can’t; I have to nap.
I thought I was the only one with such a nattitude (a proud attitude about one’s napping), but the “I Take Death Naps” group on Facebook unites nappers around the world and allows us to share stories about nap records, nocturnal nights, and our personal napnomic devices.
It turns out that about 4,000 global Facebook members share my passion for napping, and it makes me wonder when there will be classes to teach the fundamentals of a good nap.
There is, in fact, an art to successful napping. Not everyone can master the dos and don’ts. If done wrong, a nap can be disastrous.
For one, don’t make the mistake of cuddling up under your comforter if you don’t plan on entering a semi-comatose state. Go with a light blanket instead.
If you are watching TV and you feel a nap coming on, turn the volume down low, put on an upbeat channel, or turn it off. Never underestimate the power of subliminal messages. One time I fell asleep to The Bourne Identity and woke up confused about where I was and why some strange woman was calling me Shannon. I then tried to escape out a nearby window.
Also, if you don’t like to sleep alone, choose your company wisely. Anyone or anything that understands your need to nap would be a good candidate, like a cat. But if your dog is like mine and will sit five inches away from you whining for food until you give in, I suggest locking him or her in another room.
Nothing is worse than nappus interruptus, the sudden disturbance of a nap. It will meddle with your satisfying sensations of napping and leave you unfulfilled.
If you’re settling down in your room with the intentions of taking an energizing nap, there are common nap faux pas you should keep an eye on. Otherwise, you might as well gain 200 pounds and hibernate for the winter.
DO NOT: 1. Shut your door (even if there is heavy construction in the next room).  Or 2. Turn off the lights (you may also want to leave a post-it telling your roommates to only dim the lights, if needed).
If you have to wake up at a certain time, a pleasant alarm is your best choice. You do not want to be woken up by elevator music or Kidz Bop 28, both of which will just make you want to hide under your blanket. Think more “Beautiful Day” by U2, or something that will wake you up with a positive outlook on whatever enjoyable time you have left of your day.
To me, napping has become first nature. I can cook while napping, watch TV, listen in class, anything. I could even write this story in my sleeezZzZz

One thought on “Naptitude

  1. Doug Aldrich March 4, 2010 at 10:32 am

    This is a great article! Nice tips.

Comments are closed.