As many of you may have noticed, Woodland has gotten a little burlier, a little hairier, a little … manlier over the past few weeks. Taking a cue from the paper towel aisle of our local supermarket, some of us have decided it was time to get a bit brawnier, and grow super-absorbent beards.

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Why would we do this, you may ask? Well, what began as an Office 224 bet is about to blow up into the greatest humanitarian effort this school has ever known. We are calling it …

BEARDS FOR BUCKS or HAIR FOR HAITI

(we couldn’t settle on a catchy/borderline tasteless name, so we went with both.)

Here’s how it works – starting Monday, students will be voting during their lunch waves with dollars as to who has the best beard in all of Woodland – a dollar equals a vote, and we urge everyone to vote early and vote often. The candidates for round one are:

• Paul Geary, Jim Amato, Chris Tomlin, Chris Decker, Jimmy Belinsky, Steve St. Georges, Bill Carangelo, Mark Dandelske, and the king himself, Ross Cooper.

And to sweeten the pot – for every $50 a week we earn, we have to keep the beards for another week. And to really punch it up – Mr. Dandelske and Mr. Cooper have agreed, for the tidy sum of $250 each, to shave their trademark beards!

As usual, behind us great men stand even greater women – this whole shebang is being sponsored by the Woodland for Women Worldwide, with all money raised being donated to the Clinton/Bush Haiti Fund.

Finally – to all you clean-shaven, fresh-faced young chaps out there –  want to join your burly brothers in solidarity? Then unchain yourselves from the shackles of the razor and the mirror, and join us! You can be part of the next wave of candidates, to be added the week after next. Look below to see who will be joining the rangy ranks over the next few weeks.

If you’ve read this far, well, frankly, I’m amazed. I would have muttered “Doesn’t he have midterms to grade? Seriously?! What the heck?” and stopped minutes ago … anyhow, join the fun, join the cause, bring in your money, tell your students, and let’s raise some well-needed money. Questions or hygiene concerns, see Paul Geary or Jim Amato …